Duck!

It wasn’t a duck and I didn’t duck and consequently I’m left with a tender spot on my head as the aftermath of being hit by a swooping magpie yesterday (quickly drawing an end to the morning’s dog walking).
Grrr. Rotten dog will protect me from innocent joggers and cyclists. But aerial attacks from frenzied birdlife? Oh no. Just ignore that.
Rotten vicious bird. It came out of nowhere and gave me a huge fright, a lump on my head, a bleeding scalp, a headache and a traumatic, twenty-minute walk home (Ha! But also the morning off work.)
Combined with the previous day’s incident which is too vile to rehash (involving my low-life dog and unidentified poo) I will be extremely glad to see the return of my housemate and her resumption of responsibility for the morning walk.